What Did I Give Up for Lent?

I’d usually make a joke about how I just gave up this year.
But I gave up a long time ago.
(Kidding..sorta…no, kinda true….eh, depends on the day.) 

So this year, I’m trying something different.
Not giving something up…working on something.

Forgiveness.

Of others. Of myself.
The hardest person to forgive is often ourselves.
Heck, it’s hard to even say anything nice to ourselves some times.

I’m not particularly religious. The fire-and-brimstone approach certainly never worked for me…
But there’s something in the stories of Jesus that pulls me in, and it’s his capacity to forgive.

Even if they’re just stories, I admire that trait.
Not as a slogan. Not as a performance.
As a practice that feels almost impossible.

When I see someone truly forgive what most of us would call unforgivable, I’m in awe.
Those people feel…otherworldly.
Like they’re operating on something deeper.
Something I want to understand better.

We talk about forgiveness all the time. We use the word easily. We posture it, claim it, even perform it for ourselves and for others.

But I’d bet the smart money I’m not the only one who recognizes the gap between saying we forgive and actually living inside whatever forgiveness really requires.

That gap feels familiar.
And uncomfortable.
And unfinished…
Like me.
Always a work in progress.
(Not a bad epitaph either…)

So that’s what I’m sitting with this Lent.

Not giving something up.
Working on something.

(And yes, the picture is of me running. That’s usually when I transform from uncomfortably pensive to comfortably philosophical. Everyone who knows me well knows I get into pensive loop-thinking, and they always tell me, “Go for a run.” They are right. ;) )

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Ever struggle with depression?

Me too. Check out my piece How Oscar Wilde Cured My Depression (Well, Almost).