A “very creative” review from Seth on our Fall Asleep ZenTones Program


Seth is definitely one of the best and most creative writers I know, so this review just blows me away on multiple levels!  Don’t ask me what he’s doing in his photo. He said that this photo goes along great with the review. So, yeah,not sure what he’s doing, but I’m sure it’s something good and healthy…   

“You might be looking at purchasing Dr. Eeks’ ZenTones on the recommendation of an actual combat veteran that couldn’t live life because of the death and destruction that he experienced over the course of a decade of unjustified warfare, but if that isn’t enough to put you over the edge, let me introduce you to Seth, a Cleveland sports fan.
Seth has an irrational love for sportsball teams that are geographically proximate to his place of birth; but, for some reason, even though he grew up close to a number of teams that have had an outsized amount of success, he chose to back the city that is cursed on a biblical scale. What this means is that when his team is close to a championship in any given sportsball event, he needs to drink to calm the part of his brain that, in spite of his staunch atheism, is convinced that some universal higher power wants him to live a life of misery and despair. Regardless of outcome, Seth’s sleeping patterns are hopelessly disrupted by alcohol, adrenaline, and the unreasonably late start times imposed by advertisers and the West Coast douchebags that are still stuck in traffic HOURS after the east coast is ready for a game. The only way his hornet’s nest of a brain can sleep is with ZenTones. So buy ZenTones… It’ll piss on your brain embers until they are barely steaming.”


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