Happy Easter! It’s Barnaby’s First

Happy Easter to one and all!  By the way, I love saying “to one and all.”  I love it, because it is so unnecessary.  I mean, as if I would write, Happy Easter to three of you!”

My Easter was great, but mellow. There was no Easter dinner, no family members, sans Barnaby, no egg hunts, no candy, no bunnies and almost no church. I ended up poking my head into one to hear the music.   I did go on a run with Barnaby this morning and as we were jogging by St. George’s Calvary,  a man leaning against the side of the Church exposed himself to me. It was not anything I needed to see. I didn’t care that much, because at this point in my life it will take a lot more than a man whipping out his willie to startle me.  However I did wonder if the man somehow misread the memo and thought today was the day for celebrating “The Erection” and not “The Resurrection.”  Or as one of my Facebook friends so eloquently stated, perhaps the man was just prescribed the little blue pill ( Viagra) and truly celebrating his, um, rising up.    The man said something to me after exposing himself. What, I can’t be sure. As I ran by him, I hollered, “It’s the Resurrection, not the Erection!”  Heck, I almost feel sorry for flashers today. It is hard to expose yourself and make a splash when millions of naked willies are only a website away.   The internet has really changed things. A lot of things.

You may be surprised to learn that the man’s waving willie was not the most disturbing thing I saw on my run. The most disturbing thing was a pair of unattended man jeans adjacent to a diaper full of adult-sized crap on an otherwise friendly park bench.  What can I say? Welcome to New York.

Later in the day I spent my Easter afternoon at the Tribeca Film Festival watching the movie “The Search for General Tso” which, in case you can’t tell from the title, is about finding General Tso. He’s the dude who has a popular Chinese dish. The movie was sort of interesting, somewhat entertaining, but in all honesty, the thing that made me laugh the most was the Q and A session after the movie. There were way too many philosophical questions about chickens that way too many people were taking way too seriously. I could see getting high first and then asking hard questions about chickens, but this… this was just too much.   The movie also makes you hungry for Chinese food, so there’s that.

Then I did laundry, swept the patio, went to CVS to buy Barnaby an Easter basket and conditioner for my hair, worked on my research project, worked on the product I am developing, walked Barnaby some more, checked on the status of a job, and retrieved several of my items from Barnaby’s mouth. He did eat my running cap today, which pissed me off. I then went on to Amazon to buy a new running cap and ended up buying a Trucker’s hat instead.  Thank you, Amazon recommendations, for making me make a futile purchase.

So this Easter was full of mundane tasks, awkward moments, bad purchases, a misbehaved puppy, one willie, an adult diaper full of shit and a movie about Chinese chickens. That is fine by me, because Easter is about hope, and hope is always “perched in our souls,” celebrated or not, to transcend us out of this world into something better. I don’t need to celebrate hope in a big way. I’m grateful for its magical touch daily.

Here’s a picture of me and Barnaby: It is our first annual Easter holiday card and it is awkward.  I look like the unibomber at Woodstock and Barnaby looks like he was abducted.


And here’s a cheesy video showing you what Barnaby got from the Easter Bunny:

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This